I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
one might say we're banned from that church
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
