help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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