I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
