I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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