So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
