I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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