I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize