So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
