I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
