I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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