Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
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Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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