Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
