I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
