got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
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