why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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