Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
even my farts smell like vagina
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
people are starting to question the shark bite story
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
