I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
