Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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