My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
