Moan for me like Helen Keller
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Are my feet made of real feet?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
