No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
