He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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