she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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