my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i love accidental penises.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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