You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
