Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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