i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
