Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
