On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I faked an abortion last night.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm like, not good at living.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
