If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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