I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
