all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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