I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
