is your mom at the bar?
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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