She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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