He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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