Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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