I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
