do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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