Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
