Swine flu. Run for my life!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I need to calm my uterus...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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