I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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