he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize