Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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