I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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