ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
no you cant smoke seaweed
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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