I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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