i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize