You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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