I'm so fucking centered right now
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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