someone owes me an orgasm
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
