so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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