Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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