This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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