just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
