so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
pray to the hookup gods
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
