do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
