ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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