hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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