Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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